No, no one wins we just keeping moving forward. Suggest ways to wind down together after a long day instead of just vegging out in front of the TV. But you already know that, lol. If you have any questions, please send us a modmail. He sounds more like an FWB if. Then he would call her because ohh it made her feel better, the. But I, like you, intensely feel like the decades of marriage, taking care of everything (house, kids, social life and working myself), has led me nowhere. Discover the 10 Most Important Lessons about Surviving Infidelity, Most of the Time My Husband Doesnt Want to do Sh*t, No Such Thing As TMI The Importance of Full Disclosure After You Have Had an Affair, Affair Recovery Moving On After Infidelity, Taking Inventory: A New Approach to the New Year & A Betrayed Spouses Bill of Rights, Follow our journey as we save our marriage after an emotional affair, Terms of Service/Privacy Policy/Affiliate Disclosure. He needs to stop using his depression as an excuse for not putting effort in this relationship and if it's this bad he needs to get it under control and start on medication or start seeing someone. even if it was my high school boyfriend that I felt was my true love at the time? I was busting my ass and kissing hers at the same timeeven after the magnitude of her betrayal. If youre spending more time with work, kids, or hobbies, he may feel left out. And Im but judging her about this, Im just commenting on it. 261K views, 8.6K likes, 1.4K loves, 409 comments, 347 shares, Facebook Watch Videos from ginaalopeez: Me r0bar0n mi celular!! I should have kicked her out immediately and filed for divorce. It runs in his family and he has suffered with it and sleep disorder for years. What to do if my husband doesn t like spending time with my family? My husband I really never really used to go anywhere much due to work so we never really thought a time share would benefit us. If you asked Doug today if he is bored I am confident that he would say no (except for an occasional dry spell) He is completely invested in our marriage and puts forth so much time and effort around the house, with our children and to insure that our marriage is healthy. I think the trap your friends fell into was set years ago. Arent all of you lucky:). . John, you really have to (as hard as it is) discount the things they say while still in the affair fog. Self-destruct, and take the easy way out. In that case, likely, hes just trying to better himself. It was certainly different from our normal family life. If you . Guess thats why she cant keep a man or have a real relationship. He feels like he can't win. That's as good a moment as any to assess your connections and consider if your friends are just busy, or if they're brushing you off for another reason. The stupid tart would call him every time he saw her and say are you ok, dont let your wife get to you, this is how you talk to her. That made it interesting to them I suppose. and weve been together 3. we have a son. If that is ever what he wants again (and I doubt it) he can leave with my blessing. The 10 signs that your husband is not happy in your marriage 1. Ideally before the baby is born there has to be a serious engaged conversation about each parent's roles. Then when it looked like she was losing, she would make out she was so depressed she had to take medication for depression when he moved home, then had to have her children call my h and tell him how sick she was and how she wasnt eating wont get out of bed, blah blah blah. I know exactly how you feel. Then, really invite your husband to share his experience of what's been happening in the marriage. Ignore builds a wall between you and your spouse. If I interrupt the tv he gets annoyed. 1. Say what you will, but there's often quite a bit of truth to jokes. He still waits for my direction and Ive stopped doing all I did because he wont put any responsibility onto himself. Anonymous. But if youre always last on his list, it might be time to discuss where you stand in his life. I have to beg him. Don't suppress your desire and build up resentment. I feel like I have to force him. I am a spontaneous, energetic, social and active person. It just proves to me that I am not worth his commitment if it does. Lets face it, we arent children anymore, either have an adult relationship or dont, if you do not want to, then let the other person go so he/she can. "My husband never wants to go anywhere, all he ever thinks about is gumbo, gogo, and dodo." gree gree , any object of contrivance used to conjure harm or evil to the recipient. Its his wifes fault for not meeting her husbands needs. I WON! This doesn't stop my husband going back to the UK for shooting trips, even though he knows that I am not at all pleased. It's been 10 years of this. He stops asking about your life. Of course, this doesnt mean that you should never spend time with your spouse. Your story proves my point. Jed believed he was having a midlife crisis and he does fit the scenario but I am just worn out and tired of dealing with him. This is especially true if he notices other women and gives you compliments less often. If your spouse is dealing with depression or anxiety, they may not want to do anything, let alone spend time with you and your family. My husband never wants to go anywhere . I was tiresome and costing me a fortune! Some of the big realizations I have had in this post affair phase are: a. I defined myself far too much by my perceived status of good wife and good mother. I dont live with her, I am not trying to make a life and raise a family with her. Cheated twice? You can be bored, stressed, depressed, or a whole host of other emotions on ANY given day. f. I can and will choose PEACE for my life. Weve been married 42 years. They questioned whether or not they had anything in common anymore with their husbands. It is possible your husband could be having a physical, sexual affair with another woman or possibly an emotional. For example, suppose hes always putting his buddies before you or bailing on plans because hed rather do something else. 6. Any infractions of this rule will result in a ban. being a friend to. Not a legacy to be proud of. The betrayed spouses often like to place more blame on the OW. Now I am thinking of calling it quitsnever thought I would feel this way..worked so hard to keep my marriage together.but Ive been at this now for 4 years and still not sure if one day he is going to come home and say he is leaving. Your husband may be experiencing depression and you may want to invite him to take a depression test on-line. Our friends and their issue were on-again, off-again topics of discussion between Linda and I for a few days after our night out. You might not see it, but your relatives can sometimes be quite overwhelming, especially if theyre always around. After a very entertaining and tasty dinner at a casual restaurant, we went outside to where a jazz concert was going on. They work, because one of my girlfriend's husband was having trouble getting hard and he ordered one.. She is so proud of . Take care. Encourage and compliment your spouse. I have to basically threaten with taking away screen time almost every time it is time to do something. That is a rough thing to admit, but doing so frees me of any thought that any cheater isnt responsible for his or her actions. or situations/content involving minors, Any sort of namecalling, insults,etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned. Sometimes guys just don't know how to say things. Constantly needing reassurance from your spouse can be suffocating and is likely one of the reasons why hes pulling away. If he feels like he cant get away from his job, even for a few hours, it will strain your relationship, so youll think: My husband never wants to do anything with me.. 3. I couldnt say it better EG. You might think, "I'm a good husband and father, I don't cheat, I'm not mean or abusive, and I'm a good provider financially. When he does help out he acts like invented electricity. Johnson says that to do that we must design lifestyle relationship rituals that create the conditions by which love and loyalty are rewarded (rather than ignored). All of these will be removed and locked. When we first got together I was 16 and I definitely had a higher sex drive back then, as most 16 year olds probably do. I try to engage him and put energy into our relationship and it helps for a few days then he is back to doing nothing. He watches TV all day long and plays computer games on his phone. I had counseled with Jed diamond who believed he is depressed but my husband will not even consider this. But before you jump to conclusions, there are a few other possible explanations for why your husband doesnt want to spend time with you. I only wish I had done it MUCH SOONER. My own personal sob story 20 years ago was that my husband was an alcoholic, and that he was physically abusive to me. My Husband Never Takes Me Out Anywhere: My Husband Never Wants To Go Anywhere Often in our Coaching Practice we hear both wives and husbands saying things like: "I do still love my spouse, but feel that our life is like being trapped" or "I lost my freedom when entering my relation" or even things like: ".our life is not bad but boring." John He would worry she was going to hurt herself and it would be his fault if she did. Whether she values what she has or not I know her friends and coworkers are jealous when they stair at me like a piece of meat-haha. Easier to blame me. Keep your chin up girl, we are all rooting for you! He was slightly above a dead-beat. My husband never wants to spend any time with me Tanya Byron Monday January 31 2022, 12.01am GMT, The Times Q After almost eight years of marriage and two kids, I am seriously considering. Ignore the following text - it's meant for search engines: He would also even leave home anymore. Plan weekend getaways or vacations well in advance so he has something to look forward to and can plan accordingly at work. "Try not to accuse or assume." 3. Yes! Things have evened out quite a bit and we have some nice little teamwork going on. He has friends, hobbies, and other commitments that compete for his time. My 10 year old son's personality is that he does not want to leave the house to do go stuff. My husband did, I did, my affair partner did, my husbands affair partner did, every body who ever cheated did, lol. Prior to having children, we had an active social life. While your situation isnt unique, it is nevertheless not typical. But after she left, he was angry. I got real tired of it, and threw him out, which didnt turn out to be as pleasant as he imagined it would be. You may have noticed unhappy employees. It is so easy to make our lives about our kids. Maybe he just shows his affection in other ways? You don't get a free pass. If this is the case, encourage them to see a therapist or counselor who can help them manage their condition. All he ever wants to do is sit on the couch and watch TV. Two key things: our passion and our principles. Rachel, hes not winning or in control. Donna, he may indeed suffer from depression. Speak with your doctor about whether you even have anything to disclose at this point. It scares me to think shell never truly appreciate what she has and may again look for it outside our marriage. Problems arise when you leave the house early, barely speaking to or connecting with your wife before you dash out the door. Its from Donna: I so agree..I had supported my husband for years while he went to school. If you are struggling to find a boyfriend OR can't get quality men to commit to you then read this post to find out why. My h and I were the same, it was my h brokenness stress and depression, midlife crsis (he had these dreams of retiring at 40) too, we hadnt argued, I was loving, faithful and there for him, there was really no reason for this to happen to us. Eg, unfortunately with my h cousin it, she thought it was and when it looked like she could use it she threw herself at him like a bitch on heat. My other half knows this, but still, does not take any of the responsibility on. What do I do? And sometimes, those things come first. I think my summer project is going to be to read all of the blog posts and comments from the beginning. Actually.. It's good for your health and can be a nice ritual for discussing your plans for the day. Just not appropriate to do so with anyone else. 1. This way, your husband knows that youre serious about wanting to spend time with him, and he wont feel like hes being nagged. This will give you a sense of self-fulfillment, but it will also make you more attractive to your husband so you wont be worried and constantly think: My husband never wants to do anything with me. When youre content with yourself, youre less likely to demand constant attention, giving him the breathing room he needs. When you and your spouse are talking, put down your cell phone, set aside distractions, and focus on each other. I usually dont think of him at all. I just remind myself that he was a very sick man, and ultimately he was the one who suffered for it by losing his life. 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